Swaying Stars- a poem

[Reiko]

Well, here goes nothing! Tell me what you think.


Swaying Stars

I set out in search of my dream
on that road where the stars pointed east.
I left my friends to wait for me
at the start of this road
where you must walk past the waterfall to reach.
I can still hear their murmuring.
Whispering behind my back,
and now the cold wind is blowing.
I always wanted to become someone.
You never thought I could do it.
I seem to be blinking back the tears.
Why have the stars changed position?
Don't bother looking for me.
I'll be walking on this twisted road
and crossing over again.
I don't expect to return.
I already lost my way...

[DiamondsMoonGrl]

great! please look at mine!

[Reiko]

DiamondsMoonGrl said:

great! please look at mine!

Thank you. ^-^ I'll be sure to check out yours.

[Cancer_Star]

Very nice, good wording. But try to find the flow of the words and lines a little more, it will make your work go so far.