Kiki
Scout In Training
I`am glad every things fine!
Posts: 7
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Post by Kiki on Oct 22, 2005 18:44:33 GMT -5
''Come on Amy were going too be late for elementry school in 5 grade don``t` you want too met out new teacher?''Said serena.''Alright Serena *Yawn* that sleep over was the best'' said Amy as she got up from her sleeping bag.''Come on Amy the bus is here!''said serena.''Hold your horses'' said Amy as she got dressed''I`am ready said Amy''.1mintue later Amy and Serena was at school.''Hey sailor scouts i meen friends''.''Serena,Did you just call your friends sailorscouts''Said Darin out of now were.''I think were in trouble''whispered Amy too Serena.Get us out of this''
whispered Sailor juptior.''Hahaha''laugfed Serena''Its just code names i gave them''.''Cool!I want a code name too!Said Darin.
TOO BE COUNTIED!!  |
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Post by Kabal on Oct 22, 2005 22:34:38 GMT -5
I see potential in this story, you only need to work a little bit in your grammer, and punctuation, and you could really make some Good stuff with this story, ^__^ keep up the good work, I think you will make good works here if you continue to improve the tools of writing, as listed above. Just keep working, and I know this will be great ^__^
Please note that I am not trying to nit-pick, nor am I trying to be mean, I assure you, after all... everyone needs to hone their craft before a Masterpiece can be achieved... (Lord knows I need much more work before I create one ^_^;; )
But the story idea seems interesting, and I look forward to seeing how you use it. ^__^
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Kiki
Scout In Training
I`am glad every things fine!
Posts: 7
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Post by Kiki on Oct 23, 2005 7:30:08 GMT -5
I see potential in this story, you only need to work a little bit in your grammer, and punctuation, and you could really make some Good stuff with this story, ^__^ keep up the good work, I think you will make good works here if you continue to improve the tools of writing, as listed above. Just keep working, and I know this will be great ^__^ Please note that I am not trying to nit-pick, nor am I trying to be mean, I assure you, after all... everyone needs to hone their craft before a Masterpiece can be achieved... (Lord knows I need much more work before I create one ^_^;; ) But the story idea seems interesting, and I look forward to seeing how you use it. ^__^ |
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Post by Kabal on Oct 23, 2005 13:46:11 GMT -5
No, as I said, your story idea is a good one, it is unique, as all must do, you must simply hone your writing skills, this has no bearing on your talent, just keep writing, keep trying, keep learning, and I know your stories will not only be unique as this, but your ability will frow ^__^ I have faith that you will do well my young friend.
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Post by Princess Ami on Nov 7, 2005 17:00:02 GMT -5
I agree with him, this is a great story line, and work on a few grammar and punctuation problems and it'll be even better.
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Post by Kabal on Nov 13, 2005 10:44:31 GMT -5
I hope you still plan on posting more of your story ^___^ I'd enjoy seeing more...
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